While I’m not the most observant person in the world, I can’t be the only one who’s noticed that Russell Crowe has been fat for some time now. After seeing Body of Lies and the recently released State of Play, it’s become obvious that Mr. Crowe has really let himself go.
It’s one thing to stretch your thespian muscles, really get into a character, and gain 49 lbs. for an added sense of realism.
But it appears our boy Russell has based all of his post-Gladiator role choices on whether or not his character looks like he just ate his way through Dunkin Doughnuts.
Having a body like General Maximus inspires women to declothe themselves and crazy people to name their baby after you. Plus, it’s a body type that most men with a great deal of intelligence and acting ability don’t have. So why choose to lose that advantage and keep gaining pound after pound, jelly roll after jelly roll?
It was a question that bothered me for days after seeing his last movie. I could not understand why he’d forsaken his old school look.
And then it hit me.
In the same brilliant, enlightened way that the Grinch discovered the meaning of Christmas, I discovered the meaning of Russell Crowe’s excess baggage.
Just by being a gladiator for a short period of time, Mr. Crowe found a way to make millions of dollars, garner international respect in his chosen profession and still have a way with the ladies while never having to worry about working out or taking care of himself afterwards.
Just by looking great once, and making an excellent flick, he has managed to reap all of the benefits of a great, gladiator body without actually having to put in the effort of maintaining a gladiator body.
It’s the American dream at it’s best and most honest.
At that moment, I could see Russell Crowe smiling at me with a grin that grew bigger and bigger, and a heart that grew 3 times larger (probably due to clogged arteries, but that’s not the point).
Russell and I reached this moment of epiphany at different stages in life, but I’m sure neither of us will ever look at “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” the same again.
The HA Guy
Great point, he’s fat because he can. His super-fit, younger self is immortalized forever and available on Netflix. Hell, I’d let myself go too!