Bad things happen when private personal grooming activities and public transportation mix.
I experienced this firsthand last weekend when easyB (the girlfriend) and I took the bus home from the airport. Both extremely tired from traveling all day, we sat in silence watching the city roll by, relieved to finally be home. Everyone else must have felt the same, as the bus was abnormally and pleasantly quiet. Unfortunately though, during our blissful moments of relaxation, the calming hum of the bus was rudely interrupted by a sporadic click, click, click noise.
“What the heck is that?” easyB’s eyes seemed to say. (We were way too tired to communicate verbally, so instead we used our patented eyebrow and grunting language.) I didn’t know and honestly didn’t really care. So I eyebrowed back my indifference and continued day dreaming of being a pro baseball player/bikini model oiler-upper. EasyB’s curiosity could not be quelled, however, and she turned to investigate the noise. When she faced forward again, her quizzical expression had changed into one of disgust. Her eyebrows seemed to be gagging. The clicking noise was coming from the older man directly behind us.
He was clipping his extraordinarily dirty finger nails.
Now I’m all for personal hygiene, but this seemed a bit out of place if not completely inappropriate. Everyone knows that fingernail clippings have a tendency to fly off in multiple directions. Not a problem when you’re at home and can clean them up – or not – yourself. Huge problem if you’re on a public bus and nailing strangers in the face with your dirty fingernail shrapnel.
I started wondering why this man felt compelled to clip his fingernails at this exact moment. Lack of time at home doesn’t cut it; it’s too short an activity, at least for guys. And despite the smell, there’s no way he could confuse this particular public bus with his bathroom at home.
As the excess dirty fingernails continued ricocheting off the window next to us, I concluded that this man must suffer from a lack of confidence in his personal hygiene. He obviously felt he needed to prove to others he takes care of himself, so he brought his private grooming activities to the streets and forced it on the public. And while he probably thought this was a productive way to keep his level of hygiene up, all it really did was bring everyone else’s down. When you think about it, it’s just like making fun of others to make yourself feel better; retarded and very high school.
So to everyone else out there, let me say have confidence in your personal hygiene, and that it shines through without you having to force it on others.
And please remember, it doesn’t matter how dirty your fingernails are, unless you’ve got small children trapped under there, save the clipping for home.
HA Guy
At least they weren’t his toenails.
So true. He must have taken care of his toes prior to our stop….luckily.