So to help clarify when it’s time to drop the old ball and chain, I’ve listed the following relationship deal breakers. If you catch your GF/BF doing any of the following, it’s time to cut them loose.
1. Lying about their gender. (Unless of course you’re doing the same thing, in which case I’m not sure if you’ll both be really excited or really dissapointed.)
2. Admitting to enjoying Michael Bolton music. Shows lack of taste, intelligence and concern for your well being.
3. Cheating on you with siblings, grandparents or animals.
4. Waiting until after you’ve consumated the relationship to disclose the fact that they’re a proud owner of 7 different STDs.
5. Locking people in the basement – unless those people are hippies. That should be rewarded.
6. Cheating on you with priests, taxi drivers or anyone who works at a circus – unless of course it’s the soft pretzel vendor. In that case let it go and take advantage of the extra salt and mustard.
7. Posting nude photos of you on the Internet without your consent – unless you’re in the porn business, in which case embrace the free marketing.
8. Converting to vegetarianism (is that a real “ism”?) and having the gaul to demand you do the same. No one should ever be forced to give up meat for love.
9. Cheating on you with Hillary Clinton (Bill’s cool though) Tom Cruise or pregnant people. They will all expect your other half to commit to something very time consuming – be it the democratic party, child rearing or a crazy sci-fi religion that shocks the beJesus out of people (literally) until they become mentally retarded and poor. And that will leave no time – or money – for you.
10. Converting to Scientology. See number 9.
HA Guy
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