As this current recession has shown, bad management has the ability to not only cause an economic crisis, but to aslo prolong it. As a result, unemployment has risen dramatically and the office place has been transformed into a place of worry and fear. Employees are genuinely concerned about losing their jobs and the ability to take care of their families. Good management does it’s best to quell those fears and create as comfortable of a working environment as possible for it’s employees.
Bad management brings a gasoline super soaker to the company bonfire.
Would you mind stepping into the HR office please?
So in order to help America’s business leaders better understand good management vs. bad management, I’ve listed 4 examples illustrating the latter. And you can take my word on this. All 4 techniques were used in my office.
The following will make your employees about as comfortable as Dick Cheney hosting the BET awards.
1] Start selling everything in the office on Craigslist.
When employees start seeing management piling filing cabinets, pencil sharpeners, picture frames and small interns in the lobby like a ghetto AIG yard sale, it doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. It inspires fuck.
2] Lay people off when they’re on vacation.
Granted they’re more relaxed, and possibly less likely to go Van Damme on your ass when they come back and find out they’ve been canned, but it shows poor taste and a lack of balls. Kind of like Perez Hilton.
Scary
3] Fire 65% of the staff….very, very slowly.
My firm decided to axe one or two people a week over a period of 9 months. 9 agonizingly paranoid months. On top of that the layoffs were quick and secretive, so if you weren’t in your chair for any reason, people assumed the worst. No one knew if someone got fired or was just in the bathroom dropping a deuce. Typical conversation consisted of: “Steve, let’s grab lunch. Steve? Hey Jim, is Steve in today? Hey Bill, have you seen Steve? Where the fuck is Steve? Is his shit still here? Where’s his Ladies of Dunder Mifflin calendar? Holy balls. They fired Steve.”
4] Hold an office meeting and announce that the firm will be moving to a new, smaller office space.
While everyone is chewing on that morsel of goodness, casually mention to your 55 employees that there will only be 48 desks in the new space. Let it simmer. Grab a cookie, maybe even two. Walk away.
(That last one is especially effective.)
HA Guy
Thanks for pointing these out. A few of my personal favorites that I have experienced:
1. Tell your staff they should be scared because there are many talented professionals out there that will will work for a smaller salary because of the economy. Then simultaneously lay off and hire people to really emphasize the point.
2. Hold an office meeting to tell your staff that even though you have had to lay people off and have no new jobs coming in, that you are going to spend $80,000 on an office renovation. Then directly after the staff meeting, lay two more people off.