How To Handle Moving In Together – Part 2: The Bathroom

In my last post on moving in together we focused on the “great purge” and the battle over whose stuff gets thrown out. Part dos (Spanish for “two”) of this series takes a look at an even more volatile and dangerous aspect of moving in with your significant other: sharing a bathroom.

As a man, sharing an apartment or house with your girlfriend provides many new challenges and wonderful experiences. Sharing a bathroom with her just provides many challenges.

Unfortunately, a large percentage of men enter into this situation completely unaware of what they’re getting themselves into. So in order to provide them with ample warning of the shit storm they’re about to enter, I’ve laid out trois (French for “three” – who ever said Humorous Advice couldn’t teach you anything was a moron) important things to remember when contemplating sharing a bathroom with your woman friend.

1] 6 of one, half dozen of another.
When looking at the bathroom, she’ll see one thing, you’ll see something completely different. I’ll use myself and easyB (el love of my life) as an example. Where she sees disgusting, I see pretty clean. Where she sees gross face stubble dotting our white sink, I see knots of long brown hair thick enough to hide small animals clogging the drain. Where she smells dirty towels, I smell the money I’m saving by avoiding the laundromat one more week.

It’s important to try and compromise as much as possible in these situations. Try to see it through the other person’s eyes. If all else fails, I recommend adopting the “agree to disagree” policy, though that is much easier said than done. (I’ve been trying it for years but somehow I get the feeling I’m the only one who’s actually living up to my end of the deal.)

2] But we just cleaned it last week!!
When I lived by myself, I would clean my bathroom once every 3-8 months. Now, it seems there is an endless supply of reasons to clean the bathroom: people coming to stay with us, it smells bad, I stepped on your toe nail clippings, I enjoy cleaning it because you never do and I can hold it over your head forever muah ha ha ha etc., etc.

The truth is there’s no way out of this one. Women need immaculately clean bathrooms to survive. The trick is to quickly volunteer to clean the easiest parts of the bathroom: the sink, the medicine cabinet and the mirror. Leave the toilet, floor, shower and shower curtain to her. Chances are you won’t clean them to her laboratory standards anyway and she’ll end up cleaning them herself a second time. But by volunteering (happily, if possible) to clean at least some portions of the bathroom, you’ll look like you care – and usually that’s more important than actually caring.

It’s also best to note that she’ll know exactly what you’re doing the second time you offer to start wiping down the sink, so don’t freak out and start volunteering to scrub behind the toilet. Stick to your guns. She’ll resign herself to taking what she can get.

3] Bodywash overload.
My typical shower routine consists of jumping into the tub (not literally though, that’s quite dangerous) staring blankly at the wall for several minutes, blowing my nose, and then using my 1 bar of soap and my 1 bottle of shampoo to clean myself. (Unless of course I’ve run out of bar soap, in which case the shampoo works overtime.) Her daily routine is exactly the same, except for everything after jumping into the tub. First, she looks down on blowing one’s nose in the shower. (Apparently they make kleenex for that. Who knew?) Second, she must choose between the 72 different kinds of bodywash and shampoo she currently owns.

Unfortunately this overload of body cleansers is not completely her fault.

You’ll give her some for her birthday/anniversary (you’ll expect to do something sexy with it, she’ll just be pumped about the nerve activating scrubbing beads), her mom will give her some for Christmas, she’ll buy some for herself when the bottle she already owns is half full and all of the sudden you’ve got enough bodywash to invade North Korea.

There’s no way around this one either. You’ll just have to deal and be content with the fact that maybe one day you’ll get to use the bodywash you gave her in the manner you originally intended.

Good luck my friends.

HA Guy

Related Posts:
How To Handle Moving In Together – Part 1: The Great Purge
How To Handle Moving In Together – Part 3: Cooking Dinner
How To Handle Moving In Together – Part 4: You’re Kind Of Mean In The Morning
How To Handle Moving In Together – Part 5: I Can’t Fix That